NEYMAR, GRIEZMANN & THE INSANITY OF BARTOMEU

NEYMAR: THE RESURRECTION STORY? 

 OR THE REPTILIAN MEDIA-CORPSE COMETH?           

LIONEL MESSI NEEDS HELP

             Lionel Messi wanted blood in the aftermath of the 2nd leg collapse at Anfield, where a veteran Barcelona team allowed a Salah and Firmino-less Liverpool to come from behind 3 goals, all while Messi orchestrated numerous unfinished point blank scoring chances on Alisson's goal....

              ...The Anfield catastrophe was too much for even Leo to bear, the man in the middle of so much last second drama and heartache on the international stage was now put in the disgraceful, isolated position to witness his own club hitting critical mass. 
              Messi could deal with the incompetence of Ernesto Valverde, he could still override the hapless, slapstick manager with his sheer greatness, he could put on a smiling face for every photo opportunity with club president Josep Maria Bartomeu, he would travel the world to and fro for marketing and advertising "obligations"....
              ...but this???? Roma and Liverpool, 3 goals up, 2 years in a row under Valverde's disgraceful and impotent management????
             Once again, another historic embarrassment on the grand stage after years of Barcelona being "the safe space" for the Argentine, the bosom in which he nestled his head; a foundation he enjoyed building and maintaining that was being taken away from him over the years, little by little, just as the dependence and slavish demands on Lionel Messi began to expand ten-fold, the club embracing his every broken record as if it were a treble, his every free kick as if it were the coming of Christ, saying "go on, prove you're the best in the world, meanwhile we'll save millions on having to purchase and develop top class players and management, because hell you're basically the coach anyway and who needs a team when you've got the best player? Go ahead and break every record in sight, you're making us billions..."
              While it seems Leo hasn't quite had enough of this haphazard situation on a surface level (the captain backing both Bartomeu and Valverde in the media) we can never comprehend what is transpiring behind the scenes: we know Messi is one of the only players on earth who can go into a board room meeting and scream and shout his demands at the top of his lungs and would actually be listened to, his orders would be followed to a tee as if he were Charles Manson in 1969, and you'd imagine even this pompous board full of jackals and pricks would finally forget their egos and get on their knees for this man, the man who fills their pocket books and off-shore accounts.
             Messi isn't a man of shouting, demonstrating or causing big scenes through manipulative means, however we know he has to have made his message clear to all at the top of the Barcelona club hierarchy: "get me help...now!"

MADRID'S BLOODLUST KNOWS NO BOUNDS
            And while they've been in the papers daily: Sport, Mundo Deportivo, all over the Bleacher Report feed, ESPNFC, Catalan Radio (CCMA), L'Equipe feeding the Parisian dismay, Guillem Balague and Gab Marcotti on the case of a new rumor every second...on and on and on with the news being reckless speculation and hyperbole. And it's been a never-ending parade full of conjecture and ridiculous scenarios, almost beckoning the transfers to take place while invoking everyone from Matthijs De Ligt, Ferland Mendy, Houssem Aouar, Filipe Luis, Antoine Griezmann (a nearly two year saga now), Rodri, Rodrigo, Joao Felix, Pogba, etc...you name him and he's been talked about joining the club. 
         The media wasn't completely off base, but over the last few momentous weeks, outrageous talent Ferland Mendy joined Real Madrid, Griezmann seems locked in a limbo of his own making (reportedly he will be purchased on July 1st when his release clause of 120 Euros is activated), there's been nothing about De Ligt in a while other than a doomy PSG cloud forming in the background and the stench of Mino Raiola eating 3 day old pizza (the agent and Bartomeu playing fatcat and mouse)... and now, the saga to beat all sagas...NEYMAR????

HUH?!?!

            Weren't Barcelona supposed to be focused on grabbing Griezmann, as well as a left back to push Alba, a right back to finally replace Dani Alves' thrust, then secure De Ligt if possible, and hopefully build on the massive squad already at hand? 
             But no...this board feels emasculated by Florentino Perez signing Ferland Mendy, Serbian star Luka Jovic, bullish and technical young defender Eder Militao, returning manager Zidane (in a Neymar-esque twist of fate) perfectly filling the necessary gaps in his Madrid squad and that was only the appetizer. 
             To follow, all Barcelona fans were struck dumb as we witnessed pure financial heft and the ultimate power of sports marketing striking the motherload when Perez and Zidane finalized the Hazard deal, a transfer rumor that seemed to begin the second Eden Hazard signed with Chelsea in 2012.

BARTOMEU & CO: SHIP OF FOOLS

             And so in response, Bartomeu, Pep Segura and the rest are looking on with red faces, these absolutist dictators frothing at the mouth like thieving, murderous hounds in the night. 
         These footballing-necrophiles of the Catalan club will want to "out-Madrid" Perez by signing Griezmann, De Ligt and Neymar to join the enigmatic Frenkie De Jong all in one transfer window...yet the only plausible route to pull this off (without Financial Fair Play regulations shitting down their throats) is to offload Coutinho, Samuel Umtiti, Rakitic and Dembele, all big earners at the club who would fetch prospectively high fees.
             But are we willing to trade all of that for the continuing saga of a player who spat in our face, a player who's consumed with financial complexities and the bizarre ownership of his sporting and imaging rights (and who knows what else), someone who is seemingly always injured and constantly at war with those around him and hell, this is a guy who was handed something like 8 or 9 penalties by Messi himself, was set up with a litany of chances by Messi again and STILL had to escape "Messi's shadow" and go to PSG for €220 million????
               If we're getting Griezmann, coupled with Ousmane Dembele and possibly Coutinho still sticking around (not to mention the forward thrust from midfield when new kid on the block Frenkie De Jong comes to town), then the last thing the club needs is to invest another €220 million back into a player who left like an insecure, acne covered teenager in an Adderall-induced fit. Not to mention this dood inflated his own price tag by double his wages and is now enticing us to meet that king's ransom only two years later? 
             Does he think he can play us again, or is Neymar growing up finally and realizing his Colonol Kurtz-ian descent into madness at PSG was a mistake, after it's cost him nearly 65% of his career?  
             The mere fact that this board is sending resources to Paris is stone cold proof of just how far-gone this board has become.
           They're titillated by the 'Operation Neymar' headlines and are excited by the possibility of pursuing Neymar, trying to broker a long, drawn out and intense deal between themselves and the oil-tycoons at PSG, the faceless demigods at the helm. Even sitting at the table with PSG is an act that sexually excites Bartomeu and Segura, perpetuating their fantasy land as if the proposition of a Neymar-hijacking were a scene from Lords of War. 
              And a lot of top heavy Barca fans (most joining up post-2015) want us to go toe-to-toe with Madrid, following one crazily inflated and unnecessary signing after another, all just to prove "we're as big as them".
            For starters, we shouldn't give a damn about being as "big" as Real Madrid, who cares. What we want is to beat them and be a better team, which is why we need Antoine Griezmann oh so desperately.

WHY WE SAY "YES" TO GRIEZMANN
        The goals will dry up for Luis Suarez if he plays another 50+ matches, going through the motions without competition at center forward, only scoring goals when he absolutely has to and getting by on a few assists for Messi to finish off.
             Suarez was also injured in the last month of the season and no matter how many goals he scores at this Copa America, it won't mean he's back, it'll only mean more wear, tear and abuse has been tacked on to his body's toll. 
              Antoine Griezmann is the perfect foil at this indelible crossroads for Lionel Messi, not only in finishing off the disgusting amount of chances Messi creates, but in supplying the main man in the last few touches of the final third: Barcelona, no, Messi needs someone who'll understand what it takes to assist and score along with another versatile forward, while also filling other roles in a highly technical manner, something Griezmann and Dembele can perform, but an attribute lost on Neymar.
               Griezmann may be a pretty boy, but the Hobbit-haired one works his ass off running himself into the ground like Suarez does, but with a younger exuberance, lasting stamina and a world class technical finesse.
              He's thoroughly capable of winning possession in the final third and combining surgically with fellow Frenchman Olivier Giroud, Kylian Mbappe, Diego Costa in the past and has regularly been the unselfish tip of the French sword, recently setting up goals by Thomas Lemar, Mbappe and Kurt Zouma, Raphael Varane and Barcelona's own (hopefully) Samuel Umtiti, showing the breadth of his ability to find many different players of wildly unique profiles in many situations (example: his recent magic from dead ball deliveries).

WHY WE SHOULD SAY "NO" TO NEYMAR

               Sure, Neymar also registers high numbers of goals, assists and contributed heavily to the MSN era, scoring in the 2015 final, igniting and finishing off PSG in the 6-1 thriller that saw Barca come from behind 4 goals on aggregate, and he had a pretty good record against top opponents while at the club from 2013-2017, forget stats.
              But he was also a bully when humiliating smaller clubs and players of lesser talent with his favela street-ball tricks, repeatedly being involved in drama on and off the pitch. He was also constantly booked for unsportsmanlike behavior and diving (for which he was suspended from playing in some crucial matches) and he never scored enough goals in the biggest moments after 2015, obviously excluding the 2nd leg vs PSG. 
            Neymar slowed Barcelona's rhythmic passing conquest to a halt with his on-the-ball stoppages: killing the ball and daring the defender to challenge him,  Neymar inviting dangerous tackles and rough play... all in the name of besting some poor right back from Eibar or Celtic, none of which does anything to further his team on the pitch. 
            Against the best defenses, on the biggest of occasions, we saw the Brazilian ignore an outstanding Iniesta run into the box (much like the one Neymar found him on against Juventus in that 2015 final, or the back heel assist to Iniesta vs Real Madrid), instead the Brazilian would be static, keeping the ball glued to the outside of his right foot while he slithered along the left wing, maybe punting in a cross to nobody that gets blocked, wasting a fantastic move on goal that he hadn't started in the first place. 
            Neymar was world class with Barcelona when in the open field: that was where the magic of the MSN era lies, in the supposed very un-Barca world of counter attacking and forgoing the midfield in the name of all-out goalscoring brutality under the front three's precise destruction of everyone from Man City, Bayern Munich, PSG, Juventus, Real Madrid and Arsenal.
            Truly, the only team that could really beat the MSN-era Barcelona was Simeone's Atletico Madrid and what they did to beat us was mapped out and copied by Allegri's Juventus in the 2017 quarterfinals: isolate and contain Neymar on the left wing that he hugs to so much and let him dribble away, let him complete 30+ dribbles if he feels like it, but he won't get out of the quarantine of a right back dropping off and allowing him the wing, a right center midfielder coming over to help block his cross field passing angles and get in his face, and another midfielder or forward receding from the front to get a boot in. 
            Not only is this keeping the ball away from Lionel Messi, a horrifying thing for the team in general, this simple and devastating tactic completely boxes Neymar up like an Amazon hipster dinner, forcing the Brazilian to run himself into walls of defenders and using the byline against him, giving him only a scant few options to distribute to, extremely acute angles to cut inside on to his right foot, and no realistic positions to shoot from.
           We watched Belgium, Mexico, Costa Rica (for 90 minutes) and Columbia all frustrate and damn Neymar to the periphery for the international side of things, too, using the same set of Simeone tactics that have been impossible for Neymar to fight through, with only a couple Neymar goals and assists coming after desperate 90th minute substitutions of Jesus, Firmino, Coutinho, Willian or Costa flanked and supported by constant midfield runners all surging forward to finally grant him the necessary space.

MESSI, DEMBELE & GRIEZMANN: 
MDG CAN DO IT

          Why would we look to revitalize and revolutionize our squad by turning back the clock to a player who already quit on us, a "superstar" who is usually on his sofa more than the pitch, and a guy who most big clubs already know how to shut down?
              Why do that when we could grab Antoine Griezmann on July 1st, then proceed to look for a solid pair of fullbacks to compete with Alba on the left and to provide the width and drive Valverde prevented Nelson Semedo from giving us on the right, then we see what happens with De Ligt, and continue to stick to the evolution of Ousmane Dembele, refusing to offer him in any deal for any player.
              This is a specimen no defense in the world understands yet, a kid who's already seen how you win the biggest trophies, a young man who earned more points for Barcelona than any player who wasn't named Lionel Messi last season (while playing 41% of the time Coutinho did) and last but most important of all: Ousmane is a player who did everything to get here, has done everything to stay here, has worked his ass off to recover from mismanaged injuries by Ernesto Valverde, and took the criticism he had to endure on the chin, even while it was wildly unfair and also nearly libelous from the rabid Madridista and pro-Bartomeu Soci media. 
               Dembele bought the ticket, he took the ride and now he's back in line, popcorn and candy at the ready for the great show that himself, the greatest player of all time Mr. Lionel Messi and his fellow Frenchman Antoine Griezmann are about to put on.
              Neymar threw up on that ride, turned it into a delirious roller coaster, shit his pants and cursed Barcelona while slithering away to the narcotic netherworld of the very creepy PSG, aka the footballing version of The Island of Dr. Moreau: a place locked in time where the brain and the mind goes to die... an inescapable human lie built on blood money.
               He looked at us and laughed, shrugged and shook his head as he walked the other way with his entourage, his €220 million and his reptilian father. 

IN CONCLUSION

                This is Real Madrid's dream summer if we begin our descent down the rabbit hole of Neymar. 
           They'd love for us to ignore the gaping holes in our team at left back, at center back, at right back, in defensive midfield and at center forward, all for us to chase the charred flames of a self-immolating hidden dragon.
           Losing Coutinho (a player who looks like he wants to be at Camp Nou as much as Nicole wanted to be with O.J) is one thing, but if we throw away the infinite promise and current sky high talent of Ousmane Dembele in a bloated earth-shaking deal for Neymar, it will be a catastrophic error that the club won't recover from while Messi is still playing.
                   To compete with Real Madrid, we have to do the right thing here: invest in the squad we already have, supplemented with these comings and goings: Griezmann, Junior Firpo and Djibril Sidibe must come in, Samuel Umtiti and Ousmane Dembele must stay, Rakitic, Gomes, Denis Suarez, Rafinha, Cilessen, Kevin-Prince Boateng, Nelson Semedo all have to depart or get their names crossed off the books, Murillo's loan spell will end here shortly and I don't expect us to resign him, Matthijis De Ligt is up in the air but if we can afford him, we must sell Philippe Coutinho to get him. 
                 Now that Real Madrid have Zidane back behind the jacket and tie, our worst nightmare of Eden Hazard joining their ranks, our own highly scouted prospect Eintracht Frankfurt's Luka Jovic at striker, the sensational Ferland Mendy at left back (assisted two shots off of the post in a 30 second sequence for Lyon this season from left back, a bizarre and hilarious sequence that shows his infinite powers), a revitalized and competitive back-line and a recognizably world class midfield, we must compete on all fronts to improve our team, not our image to the footballing world. 
                 Messi needs help...and the only way Neymar helps, or is in any way a necessity, is if Griezmann is a backstabber and literal two-timer and goes to PSG or Manchester United in a cash-grab-back-stab with the best of them (from The Band's Robbie Robertson to Courtney Love) then sure...then let's get Neymar and try this shit.    

    
By 
Lonn Phillips Sullivan 2019