The NFL Playoffs .. the Insanity Begins: Wild Card Weekend

Where is Sebastian Janikowski's hamstring?????? Oh...there it is, in that back-alley behind the dumpsters at the local Arby's, bottles of Jack Daniels and baggies sanded with cocaine abounding....it's okay....he still thinks it's 1999....















SEAHAWKS V COWBOYS
         The Cowboys did everything they could to give Seattle the game last night...everything....they even let them score a touchdown in fifteen or so seconds after "sealing it" with a touchdown to make it 24-14 with barely under 2 minutes.
       Sure, Prescott made some impressive throws for a quarterback who's only thrown for 300 yards 4 times in his career (including completing 5 throws to 5 different receivers for 14+ yards), Ezekiel Elliott burned the clock and frustrated the always "nearly there" Seahawks defense with a game finishing 137 yards on the ground.
          But two consecutive soft as hell pass interference calls on Seattle killed the game off, enabling the 10 point Dallas lead that they...just barely..didn't relinquish. The penalties were absolutely awful calls, true homers and proving that this is the year the NFL wants Dallas. 
          The biggest part of the game however, was the stupid insistence of Pete Caroll to run the ball nonstop (you could have a second Super Bowl if you...just...ya know....ran at the right time...passed at the right time....but just..just do what you do Pete...just do what you do! Just do you!). Carroll and the offense kept running the ball endlessly, even when seeing the ineffective, futile nature of it all, while also ignoring the drive-eating waste of time the running "game plan" of the Seahawks was having on the game, costing the offense points and the defense time to breathe and collect themselves. After K.J Wright's hugely critical and otherworldly acrobatic interception, all Seattle did was run the ball right back into the hands of Dallas, with Wilson's rhythm in the passing game (when Carroll ordered them) suffering due to this lack of an overall mentality on offense. The Cowboys defense stuffed Seattle big time (73 rushing yards on 24 carries for Carson and Pennie, with Pennie's desperation 28 yard gasp the only run of note for the woeful Seahawks rush).
       Even while the Cowboys defense were making mincemeat out of the Seahawks running "attack", they couldn't stop long throws to Tyler Lockett who put on a show, Dickson and Doug Baldwin all three having 20+ yard catches against Dallas's overrated secondary. But this was where the game was lost: Seattle kept burning drives with short-sighted running plays and over-complicated messes that took away from what Russell Wilson does best: gunsling.
        The Seahawks were too conservative until it was too late and they had to come back, without a kicker, to win on the road in the playoffs after disarming your young gun all game......they let Dallas off the hook in a game Dallas really should've coughed back up and spilled all over themselves like whiskey drenched vomit after a night with Harvey Weinstein.
         Sure...the Cowboys won their 3rd playoff game since 1995...good job... yet you still have the feeling that this Dallas team was more lucky than great...more solid than us being sold....

See Andrew...swearing can be fun.

COLTS V TEXANS
        This was a game born of Houston's mistakes at the worst moments, much like every time the Texans get into the playoffs. Andrew Luck ate them up with some brilliant, back-breaking throws including a 38 yard pass to T.Y Hilton, a 21 yard hurl to Inman that put them in scoring position, a 16  yard toss to Chester Rogers and a 15 yarder to Ebron.
       The Colts "don't call it a comeback" comeback kid quarterback was in complete command of his team, but the most thrilling stat of all is the offensive line's: Luck was only hit 4 times total and wasn't sacked once...against Clowney and Watt (Watt was still effective, registering Houston's only solitary tackle for loss and his hands at the line of scrimmage contributing to an interception with a deflected pass and batting another down). Colts running back Marlon Mack pretty much gassed, stressed and burnt the Texans defense today, going for 148 yards for Indianapolis, proving that if the Colts defense plays lights out as they did in the secondary tonight, they run the ball effectively and early, then it sets Andrew Luck up to rip apart an opposing defense by keeping it devastatingly simple.
          Although does anyone think they can get through Kansas City?
         I think Frank Reich's team has a huge shot at surprising everyone for an upset in Kansas City, especially if their secondary is as shut down as they were today against Hopkins and co.
         I still give advantage to Mahomes and Kansas City, with a 38-34 victory in the Divisonal Playoff game next weekend.


CHARGERS V RAVENS
       This is the game of the weekend, with Lamar Jackson in his first playoff game going up against the 12-4, favored and dangerous LA Chargers.
        Philip Rivers is having a party of a season, with weapons all over the field for him to deploy (Allen, Williams, Scott, Gordon, Gates, Pope, Ekeler who is questionable to play but if he does will be an X factor in the short-passing attack of the Chargers). But this is nothing new...Rivers and the Chargers are used to having a cache of offensive weapons, without the postseason victories to follow.        What's different this season, is the Chargers defense has been not only fun to watch, they are the smartest team in the NFL in the ways they delegate their aggression, being rarely destroyed by bad interference, defensive holding or face-mask penalties. Rather, they hit you hard and they do it legally, too.  This stout defense is led by defensive rookie of the year (in my opinion and should be everyone else's) safety Derwin James, my personal favorite player to watch all season; the awesomely effective and important nose tackle Brandon Mebane (who is questionable for tomorrow's game, a big miss if they can't get him on the field against this Ravens offensive line), the freakish defensive end Melvin Ingram and the all world talents of Joey Bosa.

Derwin James, rookie safety for the Chargers, has had an all-Pro season in 2018/19, in what should be only an overture in a Hall of Fame career at this rate.

        If the Chargers can get in an offensive rhythm in the short passing game and contain Jackson's play extension, they should pull this one out in a close, brutal affair in Baltimore. Although to screw with that game plan, the still injured tight end Hunter Henry (a huge weapon for the Chargers) is still unable to play for tomorrow's game. This will put more of an importance on the legendary Antonio Gates to have one of his previous masterclass exhibitions of tight end majesty, further setting up the dump off screens to Melvin Gordon that have killed so many teams this season (you can cross Gordon out and put Keenan Allen in that box, too, with the dump off screens and the blocking schemes on the edge giving the Chargers a huge advantage offensively).

The game has a plethora of defensive studs on both teams, yet we know what this all comes down to: the play of Chargers QB Philip Rivers, or Ravens rookie QB Lamar Jackson. Take your damn pick.

         The Ravens also have a fantastic edge rushing attack that is hard to contain, led by the playoff debutante and former Heisman trophy winner Lamar Jackson and an offensive line that while being decimated by injuries, has remained tight and even somehow played at a higher level (while injuries mounted all around, they didn't allow a sack or commit a penalty in the entire game vs the New England Patriots).
          Ravens quarterback Lamar Jackson has stepped in for the once injured Joe Flacco and has held on to the starting job with both hands tightly gripped, proving anyone who called him a "run-first quarterback" to be a fool, with his play extensions always serving the passing game first and foremost. The kid is an underrated all around quarterback and one has to think, when people begin with the "he's a run first quarterback" tag when they consider Lamar Jackson, you've got to believe there's some sort of racial aspect there...only black quarterbacks can run, white quarterbacks throw....hmmmm....I thought we were over that?
        This game will come down to coaching, with second year coach Anthony Lynn delivering measured, calculated decisions for LA and John Harbaugh, continuing as the suffering son in the (American football version of the) Gatsby family as ever he was, a total, living maverick-bonanza. Both look strong going into this game, with Harbaugh the experience edge and Lynn the confidence advantage.   

        Fine margins, thin lines and razor sharp edges are the dedicated deciders of this violent uncompromise. 

       It will be decided by 3rd and 7 catches, Jackson scrambles that are either turned into 24 yard catches down field, or either 3 or 4 yard runs with a devastating hit to the rookie quarterback afterward...or maybe both, with either team knocking the living, suffering shit out of the other in the freezing, Sunday morning Baltimore dew until someone makes a mess of it and blows this thing for themselves.

          One thing is certain: whoever wins this game, will be the AFC representative in the Super Bowl...not only are these two teams the hottest coming into the playoffs (barring the NFC's Eagles and their 3 game winning streak to sneak in), they're the most equipped to make a long run, win on the road (the Chargers are an incredible 7-1 on the road this season), out-coach you, hit you harder, throw more, run faster and beat you at the line of scrimmage easier than any of the other teams I see in the AFC playoff picture. Whichever team wins tomorrow will go to New England to face off against the Patriots, in which should be a favorable (all but the location) set-up for the Chargers or Ravens.
 We call for a 24-20 Chargers victory in another entry into the NFLplayofffantastic. 



EAGLES V BEARS
         This game doesn't really interest me. Neither of these teams do, but let's hope Khalil Mack goes crazy on Foles and the Eagles and we see a 27-17 Chicago victory. We think Trubiski is pretty good up in here, that the Eagles only true chance is through the gigantic mass called Fletcher Cox and how Foles' magic fairy dust is running out.
           We simply cannot see Foles dishing out another playoff run, let alone a magical one that includes a playoff victory on the road, in Chicago, against a 12 win team with that defense.


See you all in the middle of the week for Divisional Playoff previews, predictions if we feel like it and shit, hopefully some alcohol.

Remember.... when thinking of potential SuperBowl winners, the best, proven metric is: quarterback, coach, GM and the draft and offensive / defensive line play. That is why the Chargers, Saints especially make sense ...even the Ravens fit that bill...

Tell us all what you think, feel, love or hate about the games on Saturday and the games later today.