LSU v Alabama Preview "Countdown to Armageddon": Why the LSU Tiges Will Beat Alabama Pt. II Of A Disgusting Denizen

   

  Joe Burrow...

    Before the season, would anyone have said this Ohio State transfer would deliver #25 LSU to two wins over top 10 schools ( in Miami and Auburn to begin the season, the victory over Auburn being especially impressive with his smart quarterback runs and big time passing in the comeback)???
   Maybe if you believed Miami was more overrated than James Cameron having sex with Clayton Kershaw; Maybe if you felt that Gus Malzahn was pulling his "win without a quarterback" routine again.
    But then taking massively dismissed LSU over #2 Georgia, their quarterback Jake Fromm and ex-Alabama renegade coach Kirby Smart...who nearly beat Alabama in the national championship game...the SEC champions???
     I had hoped LSU could score enough points and keep Georgia off of the field, I had even believed in Joe's decision making as a passer, yet Burrow continued to throw the ball within the butterfinger bar hands of the Georgia secondary, time after time.

     He'd done this before, nearly once a game all season, but he got away with it against Georgia. Last game, he was fairly conservative throwing the ball against Mississippi State.
     This has been a great thing for LSU...facing the gauntlet of #2 Georgia, #22 Mississippi State and now #1 Alabama all in Death Valley, with all tests passed so far. Burrow will need a great home support to get through the incompletions, the out of bounds hurls for his life and for no gain  (because every yard matters in this game). And by the way he plays, We know every yard matters to Joe Burrow, which wasn't the case with Brandon Harris...Jake Lee...or the gross underbelly of Jordan Jefferson etc upon etc of bad LSU quarterbacks.
     That bodes well for LSU.
     Though Burrow will not be getting away with any errant or cavalier throws against Alabama. If he fucks around, loses his head and goes Jake Plummer on our asses then we best stick to the ground game and the underrated Edwards-Helaire.
        Edwards-Helaire possesses the thrust and cut to gain yards on otherwise abandoned or screwed plays. If LSU's offensive line can pull Alabama to the sides early, stretch and gas those big men up front, followed by some up the middle delays and play action passing to get Burrow in rhythm, the Tigers can dictate the momentum of this game and maybe...just maybe keep the ball out of Tago's hands long enough to win this game.
      Will Dillon step up at receiver? He's been afraid to catch the big passes or even the short, simple ones because of the oncoming conquest of a hit. He's dropped big plays continually all season and if he does so, look for LSU to throw it in the flat to fullback Moreau to mix things up and keep Bama guessing.
      Alabama hasn't been tested yet, not by a defense even half as good as LSU (Alabama hasn’t faced a defense better than 90th in yards per play this season...LSU is 24th). LSU, by that same token hasn't faced an offense as good as this Alabama juggernaut, with their last offensive opponent, Mississippi State, amassing 59 total yards of offense the entire game and 3 total points; Fitzgerald  threw more interceptions than completions thanks to LSU's improved pass rush and always top notch, NFL ready secondary full of ball hawks. 
     But facing and distressing, then beating #2 Georgia and surviving a brutal SEC West schedule is a test aplenty for this LSU squad. They've been tested more than any other college football team in this country right now....and that will only continue on Saturday with this blood and octane festival. 
     You can look at the stats for Alabama's defense all you want to, but they are a bunch of lies...poisoned fruit. Most of these yards they've allowed, say the 150+ yards on the ground against Arkansas, those were mostly from garbage time. The 31 points that Saban lost his jugular vein over? After they were up by 40-60+ points?
    These stats tell us nothing. One that does, though, is they've allowed 132 first downs all season and 12 receiving touchdowns, so if Burrow can get into a rhythm and move those chains that could be a Bama weakness: the secondary and the short passing game setting up the big, play action pass.
     What these bizarre stats do tell us is Alabama has had a lot of uncompetitive garbage time for their starters, but maybe they've attained additional depth and experience they wouldn't have had from all of the extra playing time for second and third string defensive players.
     Alabama's defense aside, if LSU is going to win this game, or if they want to get as close as possible to guaranteeing it...they MUST knock Tago out of the game...go for the shoulder on every throw, or even the arm, since that's the only legally targetable area for a defender to attack that hasn't yet been tabled for a flag football tea party.

      At all costs, in all definitions of the phrase: the LSU defense must knock Tago out of the game.
     If they don't, I propose an alternate reality where this game could go the surprising route of a quarterback duel between Joe Burrow and Tua Tagovaiola  and a mini-shootout in the low 30s, both defenses battling and making plays, yet both offenses possess the firepower and the playcalling on the day to stay one step ahead, that is...until one of these defenses makes a big time play late, or even early in this game that causes one of these teams to have to play catch-up.
      LSU can not find themselves playing catch up in a shootout with Tua down 24-10 early...
      If the Tigers won a game like that, forget about January, just give them the trophy now...
      I'm going to go with a bold prediction....
an LSU victory 21-16, with Delpit making another huge interception and Greg Logan steps up for a massive sack. Jefferson delivers with a touchdown catch and Burrow hits a number of targets to crack 250 yards on the night, but the game stays close after Alabama will start strong and come out to a 10 point lead, something usually so untenable it would send Navy Seals into shards of shattered psychological sewage, infants from nearby hospitals into brain damage from osmosis.

   Nick Saban will wet his pants, get the first erection he's had since he resigned as a whisper on the wind in Miami, choke a man, then shake Coach O's hand begrudgingly and pull out a weapon, screaming insults about Russians in the crowd selling pretzels and how he was "born to win" but now he's been "programmed to kill and sexually motivate".
    He will be stopped, publicly marched out by security guards having their Don Zimmer v Pedro Martinez slapstick scuffle moment and summarily flogged before a municipal witness.
    And Coach O will say "Geaux Tiguhs.."