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Showing posts from January, 2019

THE ASSISTKINGS QUARTERLY...10 OF THE BEST AND MORE OF THE REST

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       AUTHORS NOTE It is with great pleasure and patronage that I bring to YOU , dearest futbol fan and reader, a collection of the 10 best creative players in world futbol , interpreted through the metric system we have below the list if you're interested...which is basically, our eyes .       We've seen some truly incredible creative performances from attacking players and defenders alike this season in European futbol, with fullbacks like Joshua Kimmich, Nice's Algerian Youcef Atal, Jordi Alba, or personal favorite Achraf Hakimi getting in on the act with as much fervor and directness as a forward.        The game is changing, as we see a litany of assists being conjured by players all over the pitch and a premium being offered for the services of full-on chance creating machines such as Christian Eriksen , Leroy Sane, Kevin De Bruyne , Jadon Sancho among others proving that the old fashioned #10 is dead and the a...

UMTITI: "ONLY GOD KNOWS WHEN I'LL RETURN..."

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             B arcelona center back and French World Cup winner Samuel Umtiti has been hampered by a knee injury since April 2018.        The center back went through the World Cup without the necessary surgery on his knee ligaments and continued to play throughout the first month and a half of the La Liga season, re-injuring himself in October. Then, in a complete act of idiocy, Barca manager Ernesto Valverde threw Umtiti back into the fray, after 2 and a half months out, against Atletico Madrid.        Umtiti courageously played the full 90 minutes in a cagey 1-1 draw and we haven't seen the Frenchman since.        We've seen him play through the knee injury without the surgery he desperately needs for nearly a year now, with Samuel undergoing "conservative treatment" and rehab in Qatar with the Barcelona specialists, all in the hopes he can mend his knee without needing surgery. ...

BARCELONA IN JANUARY: DEMBELE INJURED! OUT 15 DAYS! WOOO (CLOSE ONE) / BARCELONA FLYING HIGH?? / HIGH TIMES AND WEIRD VIBES IN THE JANUARY TRANSFER MARKET

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                         B arcelona has had a topsy-turvy January, with a few losses in the Copa del Rey humbling us, although in the competition that truly matters right now (La Liga, until the Champions League begins early next month), Messi and co. have been in good form as of late.           Call it....professional. THE HISTORICAL FUTBOLSEX OF LIONEL MESSI AND JORDI ALBA           Though, when talking about the brilliance of left back Jordi Alba and his partnership with our captain, our maestro, our king, Lionel Messi, you cannot say enough about the absolute surgical  precision with which they can cut an opponent's defense and midfield to shreds with their perfectly executed chemistry, smartly timed runs and outrageous passing.           Jordi Alba has been having the greatest season of his career, with a hat trick of as...

RAMS @ SAINTS: NFC TITLE GAME PREVIEW: INSIDE THE INNER SANCTUM OF THE SUPERDOME / THE BANKABLE SEX APPEAL OF SEAN MCVAY / THE SKULL OF SEAN PAYTON / THE STORMIN MORMON TAYSUM HILL

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      T he NFC Championship game  on Sunday will be a rematch of the 45-35 Week 9 regular season meeting between these two teams and in the same building.       The cauldron of the New Orleans Mercedes Benz Superdome is the setting and the stage for this highly desired and anticipated battle between two phenomenal teams.       Both the Saints and Rams possess fantastic coaching staffs, all detail oriented and motivating....professional, without being flat; thorough without being obsessive; and aggressive, yet in control. The Rams and Saints aren't exactly who you think they are:       They do have Jared Goff on one side, throwing bombs all over the field and at such a scary good young age, then there's the grizzled veteran, Drew Brees  (I guess we can't use the term 'grizzled veteran' unless he's got a beard, but oh well) who has a date with a forgotten destiny. We see two great quarterbacks and receiving corps a...